Hiatus

So I promise I haven't abandoned this blog, nor the $10 a day deal. I have, however, abandoned the stress of trying to maintain this one along with my regular one - and my entire life - until NaNoWriMo is over. So please stay tuned...I'm excited for some of the future posts I've got planned for this one, and hopefully you will be, too.

I normally don't like taking advice. I think this is pretty solid, though.

Yesterday morning a co-worker of mine was wearing a super rad sweater. I'm fairly picky about clothes - I have to really love it to even consider buying it - and this sweater was so perfect. It was one of those urban myth sweaters...you know, the ones that are professional enough to wear to work but also cute enough to wear out? The color would go with almost everything I have, not to mention put all of my summer tank tops to good use (whatever, you find this stuff totally interesting).

Having lusted after it all morning, I asked her where she had gotten it. She cited a store near where we work, and I immediately made a plan to go right after work to score one of my own. I was so exited about it that I even thought about going over my lunch break. "I'll just buy it and make up for it later," I thought to myself, as I planned out my purchase. "No one has to know about it. All they'll know is that I look super cute in my new fall sweater!"

And right here, kids, is an example of the brilliant logic that got me into this situation in the first place: "I want it, therefore I should have it. Now."

I'm only ten days into this venture and already I'm looking for ways to cheat? For a sweater that I can probably find at almost any other store carrying fall/winter trends. C'mon.

PS - I've decided that the Final Countdown is boring. It kind of helped in keeping me accountable in terms of how much I spend and what I spend it on, but it's also a real chore to have to pull out all of my receipts and list my expenses every day on here, etc. So unless there's a call to keep it, I'm scrapping it and will instead talk about the budget in the posts.

OH MY GOD!

The holiday flavors at Starbucks are out!!! If anything is going to test my mettle when it comes to sticking to this budget, it's gonna be the seasonal holiday drinks at Starbucks and Caribou.

Everybody has their thing, okay?! For some people it's crack, for me, it's the seasonal drinks at Starbucks. I know it's kind of petty and dumb to lust after some corporate-made catering-to-the-holiday-culture coffee drink...but I'm a total sucker for stuff like that. Also, it's pretty much the only thing that gets me through the first half of winter. Last winter I almost stabbed and killed someone with a giant icicle, but then I realized that I could just go to Starbucks, get a Gingerbread Latte, and everything would be alright. And because of that Gingerbread Latte, that person lived.

And so did I, my friends. And so did I.

In some countries, Visa is another name for "baby-killer".

Listening To: What's Mine Is Yours by MXPX

It all started the day after I graduated from high school. A very nice gentleman representing Visa called me at home and asked if I might like to apply for a credit card. I was going off to college, he reminded me. A credit card could help me pay for books and other college expenses, he pointed out. If I signed up immediately there was even a fifty dollar bonus, the check of which I would receive in the mail in the next two weeks, he promised. Taken in by his silky words and the thought of how much easier having a credit card would be when it came to paying for all the things my parents weren't going to foot the bill for, I said yes.

I said yes. Despite having taken the personal finance class that was required during my senior year of high school, I knew next to nothing about personal credit. I certainly didn’t know enough to ask him what the interest rate on this great new credit card would be, or if there would be extra fees, or if my credit limit would be so low that I would have that balance maxed out after the purchase of one textbook. All of which I would learn about after I had already effectively signed the better part of my twenties away with just one word: Yes.

See, when you know nothing about credit cards, it’s like this free magical money from your new best friend Visa. You walk into a store and you feel like you can buy anything: You have a credit card now! The world is yours! All the while never realizing that those $40 dollar sweaters you have to have for freshman year are going to end up costing you close to $200 dollars by the time you're actually done paying for them.

College is one of those weird alternate universes where you’re expected to have all of this money to do things, yet you’re not actually doing anything to make any of that money because you’re supposed to be concentrating on your studies. Having planned ahead the summer before, I had scored an awful job on campus as an “Alumni Fund" telemarketer. I think it paid maybe three bucks an hour. Thus, when I received my credit card statement, I had no money to pay it. Remember what I said about the interest rate and the hidden fees? Yeah. Not paying the minimum balance every month really kicked those into high gear.

And so began the long and tumultuous relationship between myself and credit cards. I'm not someone who likes to not pay her bills....but you can't pay them if you don't have any money. Soon, that credit card statement became such a point of stress for me every month that I just started ignore it when it came in the mail. "If I don't open it, then that means it doesn't exist." Brilliant!

I would like to say that I learned my lesson soon after and that was the end of it. Nope. It took maybe seven more years for me to really get it when it came to credit cards. I would work so hard and stress out so much when it came to paying off my maxed-out credit card limits...and then go out and blow the balance again within, like, a month. Can't quite make the payments on one card? Why not just get another one to transfer the balance to!

And late payments? Oh my god. Oh my gooood. I was the worst when it came to making late payments. Life was busy, man. I was coming and going, I had stuff to do! I couldn't be bothered to pay a credit card statement..."Unless there's a post office on the way to the bar, I'm sending it in tomorrow."

So yeah. A lot of really stupid little mistakes when it came to credit cards added up to a gigantic problem of debt. In fact, one of the reasons why I've never requested to see my credit report (yeah, yeah...we'll get it to that later) is because I really don't relish taking a trip down the memory lane entitled "Amber At Her Most Embarrassingly Irresponsible Stage In Life". I've even had real actual nightmares in which everyone in the entire world knows about my horrible credit history, and it's like I'm Typhoid Mary..."Oh, you. Yeah, I know allll about you and your incredibly irresponsible management of your personal credit. Get the hell out of my store!" Then there was the fear of what could happen if it got worse...if I couldn't pay and bill collectors started coming after me...if I couldn't pay them and then had to go court or jail. In and amongst those heart-palpitation-inducing thoughts was the worst fear of all: What if my parents found out just how in deep I was ? What if it got so bad that I had no choice but to ask them to help bail me out?

As of this point in time, I have (entirely on my own) paid off every single credit card I've ever had. Wait, that sounds like it was easy...as of this point in time, I have gotten to the point where credit card companies no longer hold the rights to my first-born baby. Which is great, and I'm really proud of myself for that....yet I still have what I assume is a really shitty credit score to ruin the afterglow.

So how do I go about fixing it so that dumb and mean commercial with that guy singing about his girlfriends' crappy credit can stop bothering me? That's what we're going to learn about within the next few weeks or so. I've amassed some really great information that I'll be digging into here on the blog, both for my own edification and anyone else who fancies it. I'll also totally be your guinea pig, because apparently I have nothing else better to do.

You're welcome.


Final Countdown for Day 9 of Livin' the Dream:
$16.31 ($6.31from Day 8)
- 6.00 gas
- 9.50 drinks @ Tuesday Trivia
= $0.81

Ballin' on a budget.

I really love these types of magazine covers. It's always of some really attractive couple standing on top of some mountaintop or lying on a beach somewhere. Huge toothy smiles, some healthy Public Displays of Affection, and this smug look in their eyes that mocks me at every turn. "Hey, look at us, Amber. Not only do we get to have tons of sex together and be all cute and shit, but we're also debt-free. That's right, Amber...no living in basements for us! We have our own house, and can afford vacations to tops of mountains and stuff. Did we mention that we also get to have a lot of sex in our own house and on our vacations to mountains and stuff? It's so awesome."

The weekend was good: I did not spend any money alllll weekend save for gas (10.00). I had stayed in on Saturday in anticipation of brunch on Sunday with my sister-in-law, who was in town. We have made a tradition of meeting at Famous Daves on Calhoun Square for brunch, and since it's a buffet (the best effin' buffet in the world), it's a little pricer. So points for me for planning ahead.

However, while Becks and I were alternately conversing and stuffing our faces, my brother Kris called and told Becks that he wanted them to pay for my brunch. Seriously. Free brunch? Does a girls' Sunday morning get any better?! Point #53 why Kris and Becks are the bombest.

So I put the money I saved on brunch towards gas. Very responsible of me, yes? Considering I wanted to go over to Urban Outfitters and blow it on hats and scarves...god! I felt so much better about myself when I wasn't having to admit on a daily basis how impulsive I am with money.

Oh yeah, and then I spent two dolla on iTunes. Mandy Moores' Gardenia, and Future Foe Scenarios by Silversun Pickups (hot. Hot hot song). I could rationalize this and say that it's important to reward myself when I stay within budget so that I am not overcome with deprivation and end up blowing my monthly total on crack, but that's just what it is: a rationalization. The truth is that I couldn't get those songs out of my head, I had the money for them, so I bought them. Let's see if I'm kicking myself for it when I need to buy gas tomorrow...but then again, what's the point of even driving unless you have killa tunes to listen to?

God! Again! Bad!

Final Countdown for Day 6, Day 7, & Day 8 of Livin' the Dream:
-7.69 (from Day 5)
+ $10 from Day 6
= $3.31 in the flush

$3.31 (from Day 6)
+ $10.00 from Day 7
= $13.31
-10.00 for gas,
-2.00 from iTunes
= $1.31 in the flush.

$1.31 (from Day 7)
+10.00 from Day 8
=$11.31
- 5.00 food
= $6.31 in the flush

Being poor sucks.

Listening To: Where's Your Money by Busta Rhymes & Ol' Dirty Bastard

So remember in my first post how I mentioned I was one unforeseen emergency away from financial disaster?

Yeah. That happened yesterday.

Let me explain: For the better part of my twenties, I have gone without any type of health insurance. I either worked at places that didn't happen to offer it or I was doing my own private practice and couldn't afford it. Everyone talks about how important health insurance is but when you're barely making ends meet, you don't get too pumped about the thought of sending an insurance company money every month that you might never see again (let us not discuss insurance companies and how they screw people over. It makes thee upset) and that could be better used on other things like rent or the utility bill.

So I had this tooth. And I had this accident. The tooth got broken in this accident. My mom, being the mom she is, insisted that I get it taken care of before I trotted off to England. So a cement cap was done, I went to England, everything was fine until this year. This year that cap started to decay. What I should have done was go to the dentist immediately to get it fixed, especially now that I do actually have dental insurance. I put it off, though, because I knew that my dental account wasn't overflowing with fundage as of yet. Note this...I thought I was being responsible by waiting to have it fixed until I had more money in my dental account.

For the past couple of weeks the pain has admittedly been so bad that it even kept me up at night, but I would just apply some Oragel and tell myself to tough it out. Yesterday, however, I woke up and could barely function because the pain was so severe. Long story short because this story is boring, I had to get a root canal and a crown yesterday. Guess how much my CO-PAY was?!

Six hundred and thirty fucking dollars.

Holy shit, right?! In shock, I wrote out the check, and it was only when I was halfway home that it really sunk in. First was the panic of how the fuck I'm going to cover that. I have to stretch every paycheck just to cover my financial obligations, so I'm not exactly prepared for a bill of that proportion. Then, I started to feel sorry for myself...did I kill and eat a bunch of babies in a past life?! How the hell am I ever going to get out of the hole, much less ahead, when this kind of shit keeps happening?!

The thing that gets me the most about something like this is that the reason why I'm so strapped for cash all the time is because I pay my bills. When taking care of my bills wasn't that important to me, I had more cash and weirdly, it seems like things were easier back then. Obviously, that got me into some trouble and now I'm - literally - paying for it. However, it is just so frustrating when you're being responsible and stretching things to the limit so you can pay your student loans and other assorted debts, and then you get hit with something like this.

I detest pity parties, though, so I quickly worked my way through it and then started to brainstorm up a game plan. I have one now, and it includes calling my insurance company and asking them why the hell I have to pay SIX HUNDRED AND THIRTY DOLLARS for a fairly common procedure when I give them money every month to pay for just that type of thing. It also includes making a note to myself that signing up for and contributing to a Flex Spending account was one of the best decisions I've made, because it's definitely about to be used. After those two things happen I'll have a better idea of what my next step will be.

After that whole debacle, I met up with some friends at the Green Mill because root canal or no root canal, it was still Friday night and this girl needed a drink. So I had some. I didn't keep track, however (possibly because I was too busy thinking about the tough day I had), and my bill came to 13.50, tip included. Then I went out and bought a pack of cigarettes. Which not only was stupid because I was already over my budget, but also because when you just had major dental work done, it might not be the smartest thing to go out and smoke.

Disclaimer: I am fully aware of this and also the dangers of smoking that are unrelated to dental health (fun fact: My mom is the director of the American Cancer Society) so please, no lectures. I totally could have omitted this fact and even entertained doing so, but this blog is about honesty and copping to the screw-ups, so let's just take a moment to process the moronic act and then move on, mmmkay? Thanks, guys. You're the best.

So yeah. Not such a great day for being all pumped up on being the poor girl.

Final Countdown for Day 5 of Livin' the Dream: $13.50 @ the Mill + $4.19 for cigarettes = $17.69. Grand Total: -7.69.

Money is like that one girl everybody knows...it keeps talking, but it ain't saying nothin'.

Listening To: C.R.E.A.M. by Wu-Tang Clan

Yesterday was Thursday. Thursdays are kind of a big deal for me...it's the night of Bitches & Brews. Bitches & Brews is the one night of the week when a group of girls and I get together, no matter what. I consider it sacrosanct - people have been warned that if they schedule something during happy hour on Thursdays, I will not be attending - and I look forward to it all week.

This week, however, it also posed a test...can I stick to my budget during my biggest downfall time, which is drinking and hanging out with friends? I can talk the biggest game going into it - I'm only going to have a few beers, or maybe I'll switch to Diet Coke after one or two, etc. - but after I get a couple of beers in me and I'm having a great time, I'm not really thinking about how I want to be a financially responsible person. I'm thinking about how much fun this is and how much I want to keep it going.

Last night, however, was easy. I had a couple of PBRs, and then I had to jet off to a date (which I never would have scheduled on a B&B night, but it was either that or I had to wait another week for the date...and I knew that if I waited that long I would bail out, but that's a conversation for another blog). Total came to six bucks, including tip. I didn't spend anything on my date, because he wouldn't let me (and yes, I did offer).

So I rule.

Final Countdown for Day 4 of Livin' the Dream: $10.91 - 6.00 - $4.91 on gas = $0

Bologna sammiches need love too.

Listening To: It's All About the Benjamins by Puff Daddy & The Family

Noting my bologna sandwich of today vs. my Ebert & Gerberts of other days, a coworker raises her eyebrows and asks me what's up. So I tell her. Commence round-table discussion about what having a budget in college used to be like, how sometimes having more money just means you spend more, and interest in if a person can actually manage to provide for their basic needs on ten pieces of dough.

At one point, one of the girls looks over at me and goes, "I think I would get so fat eating like that." I stopped mid-bite into my meager little sandwich and stared at her. "I mean," she continued, oblivious to my evil eyes, "Carbs are the cheapest thing out there. So's junk food. You hear all the time about people getting down on welfare moms for buying chips and stuff, but do they know how expensive fruit is?" Relieved that she was making a point about how expensive food is instead of criticizing the fact that I was stuffing my face with one small sandwich, I joined in and shared my supporting points. When I worked at the youth shelter in England, one of my job duties was to teach the residents how to buy groceries and cook healthily on a budget. What a joke. There's a reason why our poorest citizens are also usually McDonald's best customers: You can get a whole meal there for 4 bucks, vs. what it would take to buy one healthy meal at the grocery store (I don't have cold hard numbers on what that would cost you, but I'm pretty confident that it would definitely cost more than 4 dollars for something standardly healthy). I also told them about an interview Charlize Theron did with Oprah right after she made Monster: She was talking about the 30 pounds of weight she had gained for the role, and mentioned that, although she wasn't fat per say, Aileen had a lot of chubby, loose weight because her diet mainly consisted of things like doughnuts and gas-station cheeseburgers..."...because that was the only type of food she could afford...whatever was cheapest or maybe free."

God, please don't let me get fatter because my budget is slimmer and I can't afford fresh produce. Please let it all balance out. I can't stuff my face because I can't afford it, so please let that counteract the fact that my main nutritional intake for the next month will come from bologna sandwiches and ramen noodles. Also, let me have awesome friends who want to take me out for a healthy, square meal every once in a while because they love me and care about my fruit and vegetable intake.

Love,

Your Best Friend Amber

I digress...the one thing about the budget is that it's starting to help define what I consider important. Food? Not so important. I mean, I like food. There's food that I would even say that I love (but not to their face, because I would die of embarrassment if they didn't say it back), but it's at the bottom of the things that I want to spend money on. Food's food. That was the one thing I remember most from the days when I worked in a treatment center for juvenile delinquents...all my boys were sitting around, bitching about the meal that was served for dinner, and one of my kids was like, "Yo, food's food. This stuff is free, man. Ain't nothing wrong with it, and they ain't gonna serve us steak in here, so just eat it and shut up." And he would use that point for a lot of things, which always struck me as incredibly mature for someone his age. The guys would be bitching about the clothes that were distributed to them every few weeks or so (funny how they never seemed to bitch about the bad decisions they had made that contributed to landing them in juvie, however...), and this kid would just look at them and be all "Clothes is clothes. Ain't no girls in here. Ain't nobody you gotta impress. Better than walkin' around nekkid." I've been thinking about that a lot lately...that kind of logic and perspective.

Plus there's that girl thing, which I kind of hate but must cite for its truth...why would I want to spend money on something that I have to put so much effort into getting rid of? Great. Let me spend fifty dollars on groceries so I can spend another thirty dollars on a gym membership to work it off my ass.

Beer, now...that's a different story. Plus they say that a bottle of beer is the caloric equivalent of a pork chop, so maybe I can just subsidize my diet that way. Brilliant!

Final Countdown For Day 3 of Livin' the Dream: + .91 cents - $0 because I made a Smart Choice and went home instead of to happy hour like I wanted. Grand Total: .91 cents bonus = I Rule At This Budget Thing