Working for the Weekend: The title of a cheesy pop song, yet deep and profound when applied to me.

Listening To: She Works Hard for the Money by Donna Summer

I love, love, love my job. However, it's the type of job that you do because of the knowledge that you're contributing to the greater good...not so much because you're contributing to the greater good of your bank account. Put simply, by income bracket standards, I'm poor.

'Tis frustrating. I don't really like to think about my paycheck because it makes me unhappy, and doing the comparison game makes me really unhappy...but since my wage is the only thing about my job that makes me unhappy, the term "put your money where your mouth is" will always be the term that I have to apply to this perspective. Throughout my life I've insisted upon the fact that I would prefer a job that I loved but made no money at over a job I didn't love but was paid handsomely for (and of course, I always maintained this position with a certain amount of noble, smug pride, because I was above all that money bullshit. I had ideals!). I know there are jobs out there that provide both...however, there are about as few of them in the social science field as there are sightings of Britney's undapants. I am unwilling to change my field for a larger paycheck because the increase in pay would most likely not balance out the loss of quality of life I would suffer. I have also worked really hard to score a M-F, 9-5 position in this particular field (an "adult" job, to quote my parents), and as of now, I am unwilling to take on a part-time job supplement my income. Again, it's about the gain vs. the sacrifice - I'm not willing to give up the free time that I could use to spend with friends or pursue other interests to score an extra forty dollars each week. If it comes to the point where there is no other option, then yes, I'll do whatever it is I need to do...but let's just say that the one of the reasons why I'm taking such drastic measures now is to ensure that I won't fall into that position.

Since I'm not yet willing to change my job to fit my lifestyle, I guess it's my lifestyle that'll have to change. As they say, it's not how much you make that matters, it's how you handle it. Being 28 years old and struggling to make your student loan payments isn't cute anymore (I don't know if it's ever really been cute, but I heard someone say that once and it seemed like a worthy nugget of cold, hard truth). It sucks that I didn't buck up earlier in my life so I wouldn't have to do this, but as they apparently said on the last season of American Idol (which I never watch but yet can never seem to avoid hearing about) This is My Now. Let's hope it sinks in so I'm not 35, still living in somebody's basement, and looking forward to spending my golden years as a bag lady.

Final Countdown for Day 2 of Livin' the Dream: - 1.09 + 10.00 = $8.91 (today's budget, less roll-over from yesterday). $8.91 - $7.50 (sushi w/ coworkers) = $1.41. $1.41 - $10.50 (beers during Trivia Tuesday) = - 9.09. Grand Total: - 9.09 in the hole = I'm Sucking At This Budget Thing.

Day 1 of Livin' The Dream: El Cheapo, which is Spanish for: The Cheapo.

Listening To: For the Love of Money by The O'Jays

So yesterday was the first day of my grand new goal of living on ten bucks a day. Usually when I wake up in the morning, the first thought on my mind is do I have enough time, between when I woke up and when I have to be at work, to grab some Starbucks. Seriously. I don't think about sex, I don't think about my goals for the day, I don't think about the weird dream I had last night. I think about Starbucks, and I will fully admit that some days it's the only thing that gets me out of bed in the morning.

Not this particular morning, though. This chick is on a revolutionary new budget!

So I bounded out of bed and tried to remind myself of the reasons why I'm doing this, tried to be optimistic about how much I'm going to learn from it, how interesting it will be, blah blah blah. Then, after thinking more about it, I got a little cocky: I'd been to college. I know what it is to live on Ramen noodles for a month. When I lived in England during my volunteership at a youth shelter, the dilemma of whether I should eat that day or buy bus fare was a daily one. My first "real" job barely even covered rent much less gas, groceries, and all the other expenses of setting up your first apartment. I didn't even have a phone or any real furniture (save for my ultra-classy futon mattress) until about a year after I moved in.

So I've done this before. Yet it's really depressing that I'm back in the same place. That I haven't actually progressed beyond scraping by. Things have gotten better for periods of time, but god...I would just really like to say goodbye to this cycle and know that I'll never ever have to here ever again.

But for now I am, so let's get on with it.

The challenge today is to figure out how to buy gas, groceries, and shampoo on only ten bucks. Tough order the first day out, but like I said before, I'm scrappy. I'm resourceful.

I'm also super lucky, because that morning I strolled into my work lunchroom and noticed a huge sheet cake left over from an open house we had last week. I don't know if you know this about me, but one of my most beloved fantasies is to be able to eat cake every single day. So instead of having to spend 65 cents on a candy bar from the vending machine for breakfast, I did a little happy dance and ate a piece of the free dessert.

All day long the mantra, "Make smart choices" reverberated in my head. Feeling thirsty after eating another piece of cake during my break (most likely from the copious amounts of thick, frothy frosting I had just inhaled), I reached for my coin purse out of instinct to grab some change for a Diet Coke. Then I stopped myself: I'd be running around with a client for the next hour and a half, so I wouldn't even really get to drink it, much less enjoy it. I think somebody once said that water's healthier than pop, too...and it's free. Check, check - smarter choice made.

Over my lunch break I decided that I might need a little bit more sustenance than just cake, so I headed out to the nearby gas station in search of cheap food. Again, everything is a choice: I chose not to go to the grocery store a few miles down the road because even though chances are the food is cheaper, the extra gas spent getting there would probably just balance it out. Would I rather eat fairly cheap cans of soup for a week rather than bologna sandwiches? Yes. However, I also have bologna and butter left over from last week's groceries, so it makes the most sense to just buy a loaf of bread for $1.29.

I took a shot at the shampoo. Back in plushier times, this girl might’ve splurged for fancy-type shampoo, like Pantene or maybe even Herbal Essences. Nuh-uh...not any more, bitches! Besides, don’t those commercials for Suave even say that you can’t tell the difference? However, priced at $2.39 via Holiday gas station, I decide to either wait for an opportunity to buy it elsewhere or buy it the next day, when I'll have more flex in my budget.

I still had my sweet, sweet vehicular machine to fill with gas: $8.70, which maybe got me three gallons of gas, putting me just above the half-tank mark. But...my daily spending comes out to one cent short of ten dollars, a fact of which I am unabashedly elated by as I cruise on out of the parking lot.

That evening I tagged along with a friend on some errands, which included a stop at Target. While I perused the aisles, I noticed that Suave was priced at only 97 cents ($1.07 with sales tax). Even though I had already spent my daily budget on food and gas, I decided to buy the shampoo since the price was better than at the gas station. I knew I'd have to subtract $1.07 from the next days' budget, but I also knew that at least I'd be doing that math in shiny clean hair...

And, as luck would also have it, my generous and ultra-wonderful roommate gifted me with two Lean Cuisines he had scored but didn't want. I love free food!

Final Countdown: Loaf of bread, $1.29/3 gallons of gas, $8.70/shampoo, $1.07 = $11.06, which brings me to -$1.06.

She's so money she doesn't even know.

Listening To: Got Your Money by Ol' Dirty Bastard

So by now you're probably thinking, "Amber, how did such an incredibly smart and attractive girl such as yourself fall into this position?" The answer is a mix of poor decision making and some plain bad luck. I'll take you through most of those stories in upcoming posts (I'm really looking forward to the one about my credit card history. Can't wait!), but since my ten dollar budget starts today, we'll begin with the most pertinent pit-fall when it comes to my financial life:

I'm a good-time girl. Also, I have very poor impulse control. If I decided, for fun, to take you through some of my old bank statements, we would discover that I spend most of my money on going out and other little "pick-me-ups".

The biggest temptation that I have always faced when it comes to my spending habits is going out with friends. It's so hard for me to say no: My friends really do hold the top priority in my life, so not hanging out with them at every opportunity feels like I'm missing out on valuable time that I won't ever get back. Plus there's that little thing about still being young and single and wanting to make the most of it before I'm an old hag...

The problem with going out all the time is that I always seem to spend way more than I had intended. And while my friendships are among the biggest priorities in my life, that is quickly becoming compromised because, as a result of my poor spending habits, more and more I'm having to deny myself time with them. When you don't even have the luxury of ordering your own priorities due to your poor decision making? That's when it's time for some self-ass-kickin'.

As for little "pick-me-ups", I love Starbucks, Barnes & Noble, iTunes, and Victoria's Secret. Those places have gotten so much of my money that I could probably campaign for honorary share-holding seats. My poor impulse control goes something like this: "Maybe I shouldn't go to Starbucks today. I could spend that five bucks on something else, like gas, or paying down my student loans...but I feel like going to Starbucks today. Going to Starbucks makes me so happy...and isn't life really about being happy? Shouldn't I get to be happy?! Let's go to Starbucks!" I can pretty much rationalize every single purchase I ever make: "Books will make me a more intelligent person. You can't put a price on knowledge."..."Victoria's Secret is the one thing I do that's super girly. If I take that away from myself, I might as well just cut off my boobs and start using a strap-on, because there will be no femininity left to me."...I could go on and on. I've had a lifetime of practice when it comes to coming up with great excuses. My parents can vouch for this.

I don't want to eliminate these things completely out of my life: I want to be financially responsible, not totally lame. Also, I don't know if you caught onto this, but I'm pretty horrible at self-deprivation, and I know from past experience that a certain amount of it will completely sabotage all of my efforts. So I just have to find ways to replace that certain type of mindless spending with habits that are more responsible. For instance, I've decided that I'll hold off on the Starbucks fix unless I'm hanging out with my hetero-life-partner Katy: It's kind of our thing, I'll enjoy it more, and it will give me time to plan for it in my budget. I'm also putting a hold on the Victoria's Secret purchases until there's a reason for me to show off my purchases, if you know what I mean (it means that I'm not going to buy anymore until I start getting laid on a regular basis. Just in case you really didn't know what I meant). I suppose I could stop being lazy and actually go out and get a library card instead of racking up purchases at B&N, but I think I'll just read more blogs instead of books in my spare time and just hope that I don't get dumber for it.

Notice that I haven't said anything about a plan for rationing time out with friends and the money I spend doing that. I think I might need to think on that one a bit more yet.

Livin' the American Dream...on only ten bucks a day.

Listening To: The Moneymaker by Rilo Kiley

"Living on ten bucks a day shouldn't be impossible," I thought to myself, as I stared at my budget plan for the next two months. I had just spent the last three hours lying awake in bed, my mind flitting from one stress point to the next. All money stress points, of course. I had a huge medical bill that was soon due. Then my mind wandered to my car, which is in the process of dying a slow, excruciating death. Student loans are being called up, my savings are becoming almost non-existent, etc. etc. To put it succinctly, I’m one unforeseen emergency away from financial disaster.

“Something has to give,” I found myself thinking as I rolled over to the other side of the bed, trying in vain to ward off the worry. Then that little voice - it sounds kind of like Suze Orman - popped into my head. “Like what?! You’re gonna win the lottery? The credit bureaus will suddenly decide to cut you a break because you’re such a great gal?! This crap is never going to change unless you do something about it now...or else you’re going to be 35 and still living in someone else’s basement.”

And that, my friends, is how epiphanies are made.

So I threw the covers back, jumped out of bed, and revved up my laptop. Pulling up all of the financial documents that I usually pretend don't exist, I took a long, hard, practical assessment of my status. You know what G.I. Joe said about how knowing is half the battle? 'Tis true. I maybe would have preferred the discovery of a secret stash of ten G's in some bank account I had forgotten about over the cold truth that my financial status at present is just as bleak as I had suspected, but whatev...you can't come up with a solution unless you know the full scope of the problem.

I’m a psych girl, so I’m rather fond of experiments. I also don’t seem to learn anything unless I - to quote a friend - Keep It Extreme, so I’ve set myself on a budget of ten dollars a day for at least a month. Keepin’ It Extreme would usually dictate that I do it for six months, but that sounds more like crazy-talk than a viable plan. Most studies say that it takes around 21 days to form a habit. That's what this will be about: Reforming old bank-breaking habits into new ones that will lead to financial stability. Forcing myself to explore my relationship to money and what role that plays in terms of my priorities probably won't hurt, either. The psychologist in me is also curious as to whether living on ten greenbacks a day is even feasible. Half of the world lives on just $2 a day. Is it possible to provide for my basic needs on more than three times that? And if it isn't, what will that say about my definition of basic needs...and in the larger perspective, about the culture I live in?

We can talk more about our society's culture of consumption and psychology of materialism at a later date (for instance, when I'm feeling particularly deprived and am looking for something to bitch-slap out of blame). For now, let me take you through the ground rules I've set for myself:

1. The budget is for living expenses such as gas, food, toiletries, entertainment, etc. Bills like rent are not included.

2. It's a roll-over plan. For instance, if I do not spend ten dollars one day, the next day I will have twenty dollars to spend, and so on. However, if I go over my budget, I have to subtract from the next days’ balance to keep myself out of the hole and in the clear.

3. All expenses must be recorded and accounted for. For instance, cash and coin count. There will be no “Oh, I found five dollars in quarters on the sidewalk somewhere, so this venti Starbucks doesn’t count!!” (I have a very high awareness of how I operate when under duress or restrictions).

So why blog about it? It will keep me accountable. Also, it's no secret that my peer group in particular seems to have a significant problem with debt...we've even been coined "Generation Broke" by the media. It always makes me feel better to read about someone who's worse off than me, so maybe I can provide that feel-good vibe for someone else. Some might be interested in a little social and financial experiment such as trying to live on a meager amount every day. I'm not necessarily doing this to bring awareness to America's materialism or out-of-control consumption, however...I've heard of consumption movements and, while worthy, they just sound like a drag. The main motivation is to prove to myself that I can do it (I can do it!!), and to shape my relationship with money into one that is responsible, beneficial, and respectful to both myself and those I have financial relationships with.

Plus, blogs are great for bitching, and I'm sure that after about three days of not being able to afford my beloved white chocolate mochas from Starbucks, this girl is gonna wanna bitch.